Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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