The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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