my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
