literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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