So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
