Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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