Umm I'm too high to move.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
honey bunches of taint.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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