Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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