omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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