C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
