i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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