This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
how drunk are you?
Several
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
