What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
