Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
