Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
