Soap is not a condiment
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
