Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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