i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
