i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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