gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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