don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
