you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
