i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
