'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
