And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
