Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
