Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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