I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
