its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
