i think my tv is drunk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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