How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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