Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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