BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
