You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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