literally had 100 drinks last night.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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