Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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