I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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