I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
