I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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