Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
