So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
