you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
