What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My penis needs a shock collar
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
