There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
