Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
