i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
