i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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