ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
