I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
