Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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