I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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