You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
