this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
