What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
